When a Dying Man Can't Sleep...

"Week 4, day 4. After got over the initial elation of being together again, we had put our heads together and made a night shift plan for the time being. It wasn't my night to take the watch, but I couldn't get to sleep anyways. A few minutes after Shadow took his post in front of the window I went to sit beside him.
'You said you haven't been out of the bunkers before this right?'
'That's right...' replied Shadow. 'But I'm ready for it. I wont let you guys down.'
'Hah. That's not what I'm worried about bud.' Gently nudging his shoulder with mine, I tried to find the words to explain. 'Look out this window. What do you see?'
Looking at me with a sceptical expression, he answered slowly. 'Buildings, street lights, some trash on the road... Anything specific I'm supposed to look for, Reap?'
Shaking my head slowly, 'No. Nothing specific to look for. Just the absence of things. Those buildings, notice the dust everywhere. No one's cared for that building in quite some time. Those lights there? They haven't had electricity to power them in just as long. The city is empty of life except for us.
What I'm trying to get at here is that, until now, you've been surrounded by living people. With the problems they face, the fears they have, and whatever happiness they share. Out here it's different. There's us, and only us. I don't know if the others told you or not, but I'm the one that suggested the silly Disney songs to be used as communication in the team. I did that to try and give things a lighter mood.'
Looking back towards the sleeping forms of the others, I took my time trying to think of my next words. 'Killing changes people. But killing Zombies is worse. We see people in their worst moments twice. Once in the fact that we see the horrors people went through as they died, and twice when we kill them ourselves. I think it hit the boys the hardest. Eagle losing his fiance, and Phoenix seems to be taking the plague on a personal level... Just don't let it change you too much, ok? And if you need to talk, then talk. Don't hold it in. That just makes it harder.'
And with that, I patted Shadow on the back, and we held the watch until the sun rose to greet us. A new day... What else will come to greet us?"

Excerpt from the battle logs of Steven A. Carpenter. Code Named: Reaper.